Here’s a lesson for everyone, whether you’re at a nonprofit, a for-profit, or on your own as a consultant or coach. Or—just someone who cares about someone else.
You can’t want it more than they do.
Recently, I was talking with another consultant, exchanging war stories so to speak, and after I lamented about a client who just wasn’t moving forward the way they should, she said it. You can’t want it more than they do.
Of course! That’s not news, per se, but it is easily forgotten. I can’t hire a personal trainer to give me a six-pack if I don’t really want it. (Clearly, I don’t.) Similarly, organizations can’t hire me to create a message for them that resonates with the outside world, if they don’t want to detach themselves from what they’re currently saying.
On the flip side, I accuse myself of failing to inspire them with the benefits of what I wanted for them. That might be a fair critique. It might also be giving myself too much credit.
We can’t “want” someone into sobriety. We can’t “want” someone into finishing their degree. We can’t “want” someone into succeeding.
No matter what it is, we can’t want it more than they do. That’s why it’s incumbent on us to know when to say when, accept what we cannot change, and hope for their best.
